Letter of Intent

Friday
August 16, 2013

This is it.  Letter of Intent Day.

For those of you new to our journey or unfamiliar with the process, here's the rundown.  The kids returned to Colombia on August 2, 2013.  No one can apply to adopt them for two weeks after they leave.  Beginning on August 16, families can send a Letter of Intent, which tells the Colombian government that they are interested in adopting one (or more!) of the kids who visited the United States this summer.  ICBF - the child protection system in Colombia, similar to our social services/human services - reviews all of the letters, then notifies the families whether they can proceed with the adoption process.  If more than one letter arrives for the same child/children, ICBF decides who will be allowed to apply.  If no one applies for a child within two months, the child is then eligible for other advocacy programs to try to find a forever family.

If you've been following our journey from the beginning, I'm sure you're wondering about the "rest of the story."  Did Michel find a forever family?  Will our family be applying to adopt?

Knowing that Michel is old enough to navigate Google, and wanting to protect her privacy and that of our family, I'm going to leave you in a little bit of suspense.  Many of you who know us well already know how this part of the story ends.  But if you're curious, please feel free to e-mail me through the contact page, and I'll be happy to share what we know thus far.

Perhaps this is revealing too much, but I'll just say this:  Michel came with the Summer Miracles program.  We are hoping to be more than just a summer miracle for her.  And perhaps she'll be more than a summer miracle for us.

Thank you for joining us in one of the most unforgettable journeys of our lives.  It has been an honor to share it with you.

Quiet House...

Saturday
August 3, 2013

The house is quiet today.  Very quiet.  Michel's omnipresent radio has been turned off.  Her peals of laughter are too far away to hear (although I hope she is still laughing in Colombia the way she did here).  The constant patter of Spanish has faded away.

It doesn't quite feel the same.

There's a lot missing from our house today.  In some ways, it feels a little like getting back to normal.  But after this summer's hosting experience, I don't think we'll ever be the same.  We certainly miss Michel a lot.

As you follow our hosting journey, has anything stirred in your heart?  Maybe you'd like to try hosting a child for the summer?  Perhaps you've considered adoption of an older child for the first time?  Maybe Kidsave's new "voluntourism" program interests you - a chance to visit Colombia or Russia and interact with some of these amazing kids, who, through no fault of their own, are living in orphanages or foster care.  Each one is waiting for a forever family.  For some, that family will never come.

The thought moves me to tears.

I think a lot about the eight kids that traveled to Des Moines this summer.

One sidles up next to her caregivers, asking, "Are you okay?" if she senses someone is upset.

          One is a great student and wants to be a doctor.

                    One loves to swim, bike, and play outside.

                              One is an amazing artist.

One loves nature and being outdoors.

          One enjoys making her own jewelry.

                    One is intelligent, inquisitive, and eager to make new friends.

                              One wants to be a teacher, scientist, or psychologist.

Many of them will find forever families.  Others, maybe not.  The picture isn't pretty for kids who "age out" of orphanages.  I'm sure you can imagine the risks they face.  All of these kids have big dreams, but without the support of a mom or dad to love them, teach them, and guide them, the challenges are awfully hard to overcome.

These kids needs families, and Kidsave can use your support to help the kids.  Do you live in Iowa, Minnesota, Southern California, Chicago, or the East Coast?  You could host a child next summer.  Some areas have a "Winter Miracles" program, where orphans can spend a month with a family over the holidays.  If you're not able to host or adopt, you can volunteer for the program, or contribute toward the costs of bringing the kids to the United States, or cheer on those who are hosting or adopting.  The encouragement of friends and family has meant the world to us this summer.

Could you be part of the bridge to bring these kids home?

Saying Good-Bye

Friday
August 2, 2013

Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye, going away,

Seems like goodbye's such a hard thing to say.

Touching a hand, wondering why

It's time for saying goodbye.

Saying goodbye, why is it sad?

Makes us remember the good times we've had.

Much more to say, foolish to try.

It's time for saying goodbye.

Don't want to leave, but we both know

Sometimes it's better to go.

Somehow I know we'll meet again,

Not sure quite where, and I don't know just when.

You're in my heart, so until then,

It's time for saying goodbye.

Somehow I know we'll meet again,

Not sure quite where, and I don't know just when.

You're in my heart, so until then - 

Wanna smile, wanna cry,

Saying goodbye.

~The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984)

Forgive me - I can't say it any better than the Muppets.  If you've never seen The Muppets Take Manhattan, Google the clip of this song on YouTube.  I know, they are just puppets, but this scene still makes me cry, almost thirty years after its original release.  My eyes fill with tears every time I hear this song, and when I am faced with a difficult departure, these lyrics always fill my head.  So simple, so true.

I admit, I was able to get through the day by focusing on the tasks that needed to be done.  I think today was much harder on Mike, because he had the privilege of just being with Michel.  They played one last round of Phase 10 (Mike finally won!), and enjoyed time together, which made her imminent departure so much more poignant.  Meanwhile, I was checking the laundry room one last time for anything pink or sparkly, uploading pictures we've taken in the last couple of days to print at Walgreen's for her to add to her album later, making luggage tags, finding something yellow to tie on her suitcase for easy identification, writing a note to Michel's foster parents, wrapping a gift for the foster family and the children in their home, helping Michel make final "swap-out" decisions about what to cram in her suitcase and what to leave behind, packing snacks for the airport and the plane, feeding everyone lunch, walking through the house one last time to make sure nothing essential was left behind...  The details probably kept me focused instead of dissolving in tears.  I won't tell you how Mike did today, but if you ask him, I'll let him tell you about how he started crying before he got out of bed this morning and didn't stop until he fell asleep tonight.

Michel's flight left at 4:49 this afternoon, which seemed like a late flight, but the day was surprisingly full until we left for the airport.  We had to be at the airport at 1:30, meaning we had to leave our house at 1:00, and everything had to be done before we loaded the car.

Just before we left, we gave Michel the letter we wrote last night, along with her own copy of Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator - in Spanish, of course.  She loved Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and has been talking about the sequel quite a bit, so it was a natural parting gift - and something to entertain her on two flights and a long layover in Atlanta.  We also sent her home with Phase 10.  I can't imagine playing it without her - it just wouldn't be the same - and she derives so much enjoyment from it.  I hope she's able to teach the other kids in her foster home, and that it brings them hours of delight.  I tucked Spot It! and Tell Tale into the side pockets of her backpack as well.  I would send her home with a backpack full of games, since she loves them so much, but there's only so much room in the luggage and only so much weight an 11-year-old girl can carry.

We lingered a few more minutes in the living room, with smiles and tears and stories and silly comparisons of foot sizes.  (Verdict:  Michel's feet are tiny, and Andrew's have been enormous since he was born.)  I think it was a stalling tactic by all of us, and one more chance to laugh, connect with her, and make memories.

Michel's feet are much smaller than Andrew's...

...about the same size as six-year-old Matthew's...

...but bigger than Mia's paws!

Finally, it was time to head for the airport.  The inevitable could not be prolonged.

Both boys have been fighting a cold this week.  I keep hoping and praying that Michel doesn't catch it, and so far, she has been symptom-free.  (Maybe it's something she's already immune to??)  Matthew started sneezing repeatedly in the car on the way to the airport.  He's great about covering his coughs and sneezes, but I still wondered how well Michel would fight off germs in such close proximity.  Michel looked at me in the car and said authoritatively, "He's sneezing because he has dog hair in his nose."  Um...okay.  If there's anything to "mind over matter" - somehow being less prone to getting sick if you're not obsessing about the germs around you or just don't believe that someone is sick - then I'll let her believe it's all dog hair.  Yep, it was definitely dog hair.

The one thing that was desperately bothering me all day is that we misplaced Michel's necklace.  When we bought it on Tuesday, I told her that it was a going-away present for her.  The butterflies seemed to hold such significance (see Tuesday's post for more sentiment about butterflies), and I wanted her to have more than just a book and a game to remind her of us and of our summer together.  But somehow, it disappeared.  Yesterday and today, Michel and I turned the house upside-down looking for the necklace.

The worst part?  She distinctly remembered handing it to me when we were at Megan's house Tuesday evening.  I took a phone call outside, and she brought it to me, so that it wouldn't get broken while she was playing with the boys.  So responsible and conscientious.  So I was the last one to have it in my possession, and at the time, I slipped it carefully into my pocket.  Then my poor little sleep-deprived brain left for vacation, and I have zero recollection of what happened next.  We checked the pockets of the shorts I wore that night and everything else I've worn before or since.  We looked in the washing machine and dryer.  I scanned underneath everything in the laundry room and moved the waiting piles of clothes at least six times, thinking it must have fallen out of my pocket that night.  She asked several times if I had found it but did not seem outwardly upset by it.  But I was sick that I had bought her this sentimental gift, and then I had lost it.  It was not expensive, but it was the thought
behind it!  I looked and looked and looked Thursday night and Friday, and prayed that it would turn up somewhere, but I never found it before leaving for the airport.  She asked one last time as we pulled out of the driveway, and I apologetically told her no, I hadn't found it.  As if I didn't have enough reasons to cry.

Where, oh where, has this necklace gone??

We pulled into the airport and took a ticket for the short-term parking garage.  Mike usually tucks these tickets into the sun visor, but that always makes me nervous, since it can fall out of sight so easily if you move the visor.  I went to place it on the little shelf in front of the dashboard display where our van has a rearview camera.  Last week's church bulletin was sitting there, so I moved the bulletin so the ticket wouldn't get lost among the other papers.  When I lifted the bulletin, guess what was sitting there...right where I had left it on Tuesday evening so it would be safe and not get lost.

Michel's necklace.

I wanted to cry with relief.  It was such a silly little thing, but she really liked the necklace, and I really wanted her to have it.  Just in time.  Thank God for all of the little "coincidences" that had to fall into place for us to find it, moments before we locked the car and walked into the airport to see Michel off.

The time at the airport was similar in pace to the morning for me:  busy with lots of little details, without a lot of time for emotion.  Michel wanted to be with her friends - normal for a social 11-year-old - and I was called into service to interpret for the many transactions at the airport - final comments between host families and children, organization of check-in and luggage drop-off, coordination of group pictures, follow-up between host families and the chaperone, last details that needed attention before the kids headed through security.  The time at the airport passed much more quickly than I had anticipated, and soon it was time to walk the kids to the escalator that would carry them up to the security checkpoint.

The tears finally hit me at this point.  The morning had been so busy, and I knew I didn't really have time for emotion, or else we'd never get Michel to the airport on time.  But suddenly, it was final.  No more errands, no more packing, no more interpreting, no more details to finish off...just goodbye.  And tears.  And hugs.

And goodbye.

Preparing for Departure

Thursday
August 1, 2013

August.  It's finally here.  It's been such a whirlwind since Michel's arrival, it's truly hard to grasp that August has arrived.  On one hand, I can't believe how much we've done in the past month.  I think we've visited more local attractions in the past 29 days than in our five years in Des Moines.  On the other hand, she leaves tomorrow.  I can't think about it too much, because it breaks my heart.

We have spent this week still trying to cram in new experiences and see friends who haven't yet met Michel and finish our month-long bucket list of everything Michel wanted to do and everything we wanted to show her.  At the same time, we've started preparing for her departure.  Buying a suitcase, assembling her photo album, washing all of her new clothes one last time, making choices about what goes back to Colombia and what she'll leave behind.  Her departure is definitely on everyone's mind.

Michel seems to be taking it in stride.  In our host family training session last weekend, we were told that some kids withdraw and become distant in the final days, as they mentally start to prepare to say good-bye.  Other kids become clingy, as if they need one last chance to soak up your love and care.  Michel seems to be tending toward the clingy side - not in a bad way, but she definitely wants more hugs and wants to be by my side during the day.  I'm glad she's not withdrawing, because it would be hard to not question whether we had done something wrong to offend her.  But her near-constant presence now will make her absence awfully noticeable after she's gone.

Michel joined the local Kidsave coordinator this morning, along with his daughter (a Kidsave Summer Miracles kid in 2011), another Summer Miracles "alum" who was adopted locally, and three of the children hosted this year, to visit a local home-building company that has donated money to help fund the kids' visits to Des Moines.  Huge thanks to Destiny Homes & Genesis Homes for your generosity to the Kidsave program.  You are changing the lives of children and families, thousands of miles away and in your own backyard.

The leaders of the company were able to meet the kids they have helped in the past and the kids hoping to find families this summer.  Michel enjoyed the outing, especially since she got to hang out with some of her close friends with whom she has traveled, and since they stopped for ice cream at McDonald's on the way home!

My best friend from college, Lizz, is in town from the Washington, D.C. area, with her husband and three kids this week. They came over for lunch to meet Michel - just in time before tomorrow's departure day!  When Lizz is in town, the tradition for our families is to order pizza or Chinese take-out, so I gave Michel the choice between those two for lunch today.  She loves pizza, but the other kids from Colombia that she saw this morning told her she had to try Chinese because she would love it.  I knew she likes chicken but not anything too spicy, so I figured sweet and sour chicken was a safe bet.  She loved the chicken, pineapple, and sauce.  The onions were a "no thank you," but she seemed to like her first tiny foray into Asian cuisine.

Lizz's job involves traveling and living in countries all over the world, so she was just the resource we needed to guide Michel's packing process.  Michel made a lot of careful choices - with less drama than I would have expected - about which items would go back in her suitcase, and which would be left behind.  We knew she couldn't take everything back in her one allotted suitcase and one backpack, so we helped her pick her favorite clothes and most of the souvenirs.  Lizz was full of international travel tips - shoes clipped to caribiners on her backpack, thicker clothing items worn instead of packed.  Without Lizz's advice, she probably would have had to leave a lot more behind.  However, I'm mildly concerned about how this poor kid is going to navigate when she gets to the airport:  she's currently planning to wear jeans, a tank top, a long-sleeved shirt, the yellow Summer Miracles t-shirt required for travel, and a fleece jacket, with another jacket tied around her waist.  If she doesn't die of heat stroke while waiting at the airport, she may collapse under the 48-pound backpack during her four-hour layover in Atlanta!

We are grateful this license plate was at our house today,
carrying a master international suitcase packer!

Michel played Phase 10 with our neighbor Elizabeth after Lizz and her family left this afternoon.  (Yes, the Elizabeths are taking over the world!)  I don't think they finished the game, but Michel was in the lead, as always.  Thanks, Elizabeth, for being a good sport about playing with the perpetual Phase 10 champion!

The five of us had a quiet dinner at home, and then we let Michel pick where she wanted to go for one last round of American ice cream:  Coldstone, Dairy Queen, or Baskin-Robbins?  (Ever hear the parenting tip - usually with toddlers - to give choices, but make sure you can live with any of the options?  Yeah, I thought I could live with any of those.)  She chose Coldstone, her new favorite.  So, off we went to Johnston for ice cream.  We talked, laughed a lot, and soaked up as many memories as we could.

On the way home, a song came on the radio called "Summertime Sadness".  It was especially fitting for our last night with Michel.  I think we're all feeling some summertime sadness.

I also hope we have given Michel a summertime of joy, of experiences she might never have had otherwise...and perhaps, we have built a bridge to her forever family.  On this last night of Michel's amazing summer vacation, we dream of what her future could hold.

At bedtime, Michel brought her (heavy!) suitcase to the hallway outside her room.  She pulled it back and forth and posed for lots of pictures.  I think she enjoys having her first "real" suitcase and looking like a grown-up traveler!  Now, if we can just get it to stay upright and not tip over from the weight of everything packed inside...

Tonight, after the kids were in bed, Mike and I worked on a good-bye letter to Michel.  It was so hard to convey everything we want to say to her.  We thanked her for spending her summer vacation with us and talked about her many gifts.  We included as much "parental" advice as we could - study hard in school, maintain good friendships, seek wise counsel from adults if you have a problem...trite, perhaps, but our last chance to impart a bit of wisdom before she leaves.  May these words encourage and sustain her until she can come home to a forever family.

As we composed the letter together, we wrestled with the unfairness of seeing such wonderful, amazing kids grow up without the unconditional support of a family.  Mike kept saying, "It's not okay.  No kid should have to grow up without a loving, supportive family."  I think it's fair to say that our boys were born into blessings they often don't even recognize, while some kids are hungry just for a dad to read them a bedtime story, for a mom to lie down and rub their back at night.  Michel isn't asking for the world.  Just someone to love her, to have fun with her, and to stand by her, no matter what.  Forever.

Art Day!

Wednesday
July 31, 2013

Michel started the day working on a puzzle with Matthew.  It was one of those nine-piece square puzzles, where you have to line up each side of each square to match up with the other half of an image on another square.

So close!

This type of puzzle is deceptively difficult.  It seems super-easy, until you get to the last couple of pieces and realize you are in trouble!  Matthew and Michel managed to get eight out of nine pieces to match.  Michel patiently perseveres when faced with a challenge!

We took a field trip to the Des Moines Art Center today with my friend Wendy and her daughter Olivia.  Over the course of the month, when we've discussed possible outings, we've mentioned the art center to Michel.  Several times, she has asked, "When can we go to the art museum?"  Now that we are down to the last couple of days, when I asked what she still wanted to do in Des Moines, the art center topped her list.  The boys and I had never been to this art museum before, so it was fun to finally check it out!



We all really enjoyed our outing today.  I wasn't sure what the boys would think, but they were very interested in the variety of artistic styles and offered thoughtful commentary on the pieces they liked.  Andrew turned to me at one point and said, "This museum is really cool!"  Michel identified pieces in almost every room that resonated with her.  I would love for her to have the opportunity to explore different art media in the future.

We had almost as much fun in the gift shop as we did in the museum.  Michel tried on various hats, and we all enjoyed browsing the unique gifts offered.  Thanks to the friendly and patient staff who made us feel welcome.  Somehow, we managed to escape without spending any money, but I will keep this store in mind when it's time to start my Christmas shopping!

After the art center, we dropped Michel off at our church for an art class with a member of our congregation who is an art teacher in the schools.  Our pastor's two daughters attended the class with her (one of whom was adopted from Colombia, and the other who has learned quite a bit of Spanish!).  Another child adopted locally through the Kidsave Summer Miracles program and another girl in this year's program rounded out the class.  I'm sure Michel enjoyed the time with current and former Summer Miracles kids, speaking mostly Spanish and sharing cultural commonality for a couple of hours.  It's neat to see the connection among the former Summer Miracles kids who have been adopted in our area.  Michel says she really enjoys art projects, and she did a beautiful job on her flower painting!  Huge thanks to Karen Kehoe for spending the afternoon sharing your love of art and teaching preteen and teen girls to paint!

Yes, Michel painted this!  Gorgeous!

Haley and Dani (our pastor's daughters) and their mom invited Michel to stay for youth group after art class.  Michel enjoyed pizza (one of her favorites!) and time with the other kids.

When we picked Michel up from youth group, I asked how the evening had gone.  She said she enjoyed youth group, but that "church is very different here" in comparison to Colombia.  Even setting aside the language difference, I'm sure a contemporary evangelical-style youth group would be very different than a traditional Catholic mass in Colombia!  She has a deep faith, and she said she appreciated both environments.

After Michel got home this evening, Mike asked her to play Phase 10 while the boys were playing with the neighbor kids.  I told him that she needed some time to work on her photo album if she was going to finish embellishing all 79 pictures before Friday.  Michel quickly jumped in to say, "No, I can do both at the same time!"  Multitasking didn't seem to affect her ability to beat Mike at her favorite game.

Not surprisingly, we had one very tired girl at bedtime.  Mike carried her upstairs to brush her teeth and get ready for bed.  I'm sure she did not have enough evenings of being carried to bed as a young child.  I'm so grateful we can give her these experiences this summer, and I hope that her future will be filled with field trips and bedtime routines and the love of a forever family.

From Butterflies to S'Mores

Tuesday
July 30, 2013
Part Two of Two


After buying not one but three sweatshirts (I couldn't resist the fun over-the-head mask/hood designs for the boys), we headed for Reiman Gardens, one of my favorite places in Ames.




Reiman Gardens is a 14-acre facility with indoor and outdoor gardens on the Iowa State University campus.  Michel loved the butterfly emergence cases, where you can watch butterflies leave their cocoons.  She also enjoyed posing for lots of pictures in the conservatory.  The gardens are perhaps best-known for their butterfly wing, a 2,500-foot indoor space with up to 800 live butterflies!

Michel liked the butterfly wing, but I was very surprised to find that she was a little skittish around the butterflies...and perhaps more afraid of flying critters than I realized.  She stayed close to me, clinging to my arm, throughout our walk with the butterflies, and she jumped and squealed nervously every time one would approach.  (I, however, held as still as a statue, with one arm extended, hoping that a butterfly would land on me!)  Despite my red t-shirt and the boys' brightly colored new sweatshirts, we didn't have any "passengers" land on us this time.  As jumpy as Michel was, that's probably a good thing.

Several of these moths were just released today.  They are huge...and gorgeous!

We didn't make it to the outdoor portion of the gardens today.  Andrew wasn't feeling well, and all three kids were tired.  I was disappointed to miss out on the children's garden, the rose garden, the ponds, our favorite dancing chimes, and everything else Reiman Gardens has to offer, but I also knew that it was time to head for Des Moines.

When we got back into town, we headed for my friend Megan's house.  She made an awesome dinner with lots of Michel's favorite foods (grilled meats! pineapple!).  Michel and the boys played beautifully with her kids while Megan prepared dinner.  Michel fashioned a great "face" out of the food on her plate, then proceeded to eat her creation - hamburger, hot dog, bacon, pineapple, tomatoes, grapes, and Sun Chips!

After dinner, we made S'Mores over Megan's fire pit.  Michel tried S'Mores last weekend, when we made them with Mike's sister's family on our gas grill, but we hadn't really given her the authentic S'Mores experience until she could roast marshmallows over an open fire.

After S'Mores, it was time to get all the tired kiddos home to bed.  Matthew fell asleep on the way home, not unexpectedly.  Michel spent some more time sharing her photo album with Andrew before going to bed.  It was another late bedtime, but it did not take long for her to fall asleep!  May her dreams be as gentle as butterflies and as sweet as marshmallows.

Stretch Your Wings and Fly!

Tuesday
July 30, 2013
Part One of Two

Today was a full day with lots of tales to tell, so I'm going to break today's report into two posts.  Come along with us for dental appointments and butterflies and S'Mores!  Enjoy!

We headed to Ames this morning for dentist appointments for all three kids.  Dr. Debbie Grandgenett - our amazing pediatric dentist who we have seen since Andrew was a year old - had previously agreed to see Michel at no cost while she is here.  We weren't sure what to expect, as far as what kind of dental care Michel would have had in Colombia or if she would have ever seen a dentist.  (I've worked with many immigrant kids who have never been to a dentist upon arrival in the United States.)  However, the child protection system in Colombia seems to be very on top of medical and dental care.  The kids have regular check-ups every six months, and problems are addressed right away.  Knowing that Michel's last dental visit was in February, I was hopeful that this would not be a lengthy or traumatic appointment!

Michel did great at the dentist.  She said it was similar to the dentist in Colombia, except the office was nicer here and the Colombian dentists do not have flat-screen TVs on the ceiling showing cartoons.  (That's okay - my adult dentist doesn't have cartoons on the ceiling, either.)  She was very cooperative for the cleaning and check-up.  I think she may have been a tad anxious - or perhaps just eager - during the appointment, because every time an adult walked into the room, she asked, "Is that the dentist?"  You don't realize how many adults (dental assistants and hygienists and other office staff) pass in and out of a dental appointment until you have to answer the question every two minutes.  But eventually, she had the chance to meet Dr. Debbie, who was kind and caring and wonderful, as always.

Michel had no cavities or other concerns, and the only surprise was that she has an extra permanent tooth!  Dr. Debbie she sees about one patient every day (out of thirty on an average day) that has one extra tooth.  Once she pointed it out, it was obvious, but otherwise, I never would have noticed anything unusual about her beautiful smile.  Nothing needs to be done about it, it's just one more little thing that makes her special!

Just like our two boys, the hardest part of the entire appointment was picking a prize at the end.  Before the appointment, I had told her that the boys almost took longer to pick prizes than to have their teeth cleaned.  I naively believed that she wouldn't take as long, being older than the boys and also being forewarned about the prize-picking process!  Silly me.  She narrowed it down to two favorite items, and then couldn't make a decision.  I tried every negotiating and compromising skill I have, but she just wanted both.  I admit - I wanted to tell her to just take both prizes, but I really didn't want to take advantage of an already-free appointment.  It probably wouldn't have been a big deal, but it sets a rotten precedent for the next time the boys go to the dentist.  So we waited.  And discussed.  And deliberated.  And finally, finally, finally selected a sparkly pink notebook.  Hopefully she will enjoy it!

After lunch, we decided on Panchero's.  One of her traveling companions loves Panchero's, and Michel wanted to try it.

"Stand for something," says Panchero's slogan.
Could you take a stand for a child in Colombia
who needs the love of a forever family?

Wow - I wish we had visited Panchero's earlier in her stay!  She loved Panchero's and devoured every millimeter of her large burrito.  It's the largest lunch she's had in a while, and I'm glad she had a relatively balanced meal.  I figured she would be full, but she still had room for ice cream when we stopped by Cold Stone Creamery next door.  We have certainly made the grand tour of ice cream stops this month, but Cold Stone is Michel's favorite so far.

When we left Cold Stone, we saw a Chevy Camaro with decorative calligraphy decals parked in the parking lot.  Apparently some of our boys' fascination with vehicles has rubbed off on Michel, because she immediately led the boys to the car to admire it.  She turned around, posed against it, and motioned for me to take a picture.  Watch out, potential adoptive families:  this girl may want a sports car when she turns 16!

Before Michel arrived, we had been advised to keep a jacket or sweatshirt handy for her, since she might not be accustomed to air conditioning.  At home, that has not been a problem at all, but we don't exactly set our thermostat to 68 degrees, either.  However, I have noticed that Michel gets chilled in public places who set their air conditioning to "frigid" all summer long.  Somehow, I still haven't learned to remind her to bring a jacket along if we are going somewhere that might be overly air conditioned.  So, inevitably, Michel was cold at the dentist, cold at Panchero's, and still mildly chilled at Cold Stone (although eating ice cream probably didn't warm her up much).  Thinking that she might start to show signs of frostbite, our next stop was K-Mart to find a sweatshirt to take the chill off.

Oh my goodness, I had forgotten what it's like to be a preteen girl on a shopping trip.  We tried on every sweatshirt, every size, in the entire girls' department and some of the boys' as well.  She had a great time, but I was starting to wonder if we should check out the sporting goods section to buy sleeping bags, in case we had to spend the night in the aisles of K-Mart!  Fortunately, the boys found these great sweatshirts that form a face if you zip them up over your head, so they had plenty of entertainment trying those on and taking pictures of each other while Michel enjoyed all the riches of K-Mart.

After forty-five minutes, she had selected a sweatshirt, and on the way out, she found a butterfly necklace that she loved.  I told her we could buy it as her going-away present, since I had been planning on picking out something special for her.

I thought the butterflies on Michel's necklace were very fitting.  Not only were we headed to the butterfly pavilion at Reiman Gardens, but there's a beautiful, oft-quoted inspirational story about butterflies as they emerge from their cocoons.  Here's one version of the story I found online:

The Story of the Butterfly

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.
One day, a small opening appeared.
He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours
as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.
Then it stopped, as if it couldn't go further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and
snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon.
The butterfly emerged easily but
it has a swollen body and shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch it,
expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge
and expand enough to support the body.
Neither happened!
In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life
crawling around.
It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste
did not understand:
The restricting cocoon and the struggle
required by the butterfly to get through the opening
was a way of forcing the fluid from the body
into the wings so that it would be ready
for flight once that was achieved.

Sometimes struggles are exactly
what we need in our lives.
Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us.
We will not be as strong as we could have been
and we would never fly.

(Found at http://www.motivationalwellbeing.com/motivational-stories.html#ixzz2c0gCpOq5 on August 14, 2013)

Michel has faced many obstacles in her life, but they have not left her damaged beyond hope.  The support she has received from her current foster family has strengthened her; hopefully, she will someday receive the loving care of a forever family that will help her stretch her wings and fly.

(To read more tales of butterflies - with pictures! - head for Part Two of this post...)

Milestones

Monday
July 29, 2013

Our next door neighbors are building a tree fort for their nine-year-old son.  Correction:  it's not a tree fort, it's a deck fort, as the boys are quick to tell me, because it's suspended beneath their deck, not perched in a tree.  Andrew and Matthew spent a lot of time under their deck today, helping Aaron's dad with the new fort, and hopefully learning a few carpentry apprentice skills along the way.  Michel joined them for a while, and she made an eager helper, holding dowels in place to allow for space between the floorboards.  Thanks, Tom, for looking past language barriers and letting Michel have a role in the construction!

We met Mike at work today for lunch in the John Deere cafeteria.  Mike has always touted their executive chef and high-quality meals, and we thought it would be a fun chance for Michel to see where Mike spends his work days.

She tried blueberry yogurt, which she loved!  If I had known that, I wouldn't have been buying so much vanilla yogurt this month!  She also had a variety of fruit and some hard-boiled eggs.  The buffet format has great benefits - allowing her to see everything and pick what she wants - but it also has some challenges.  I had to watch to make sure she wasn't sampling directly from the buffet (and I caught her just before licking her fingers and dipping them in each flavor of yogurt on the salad bar).  She also didn't understand why she couldn't have the sausage that was part of the pasta and stir-fry buffet.  She really wanted just sausage, nothing sauteed with it.  However, she was always responsive to my instruction and correction.  After nearly a month of having her with us everywhere, I am already starting to forget how many experiences here are still new to her.

This afternoon, Michel and I selected pictures for an album she can take home with her.  I don't know how many thousands of pictures I have taken of our adventures this month, but I chose the best pictures from each day, then let her pick her favorites from that list.  Kidsave suggested 30-40 photos, but I was pleased that we narrowed it down to 79.  Thanks, Amy & Jack, for giving Michel an album that holds 120 pictures!  There is plenty of extra room for the little souvenirs she has accumulated this month:  baseball tickets and gift tags and such.

We uploaded pictures to Walgreen's to pick up later, along with the two disposable cameras Michel has used since her arrival.  After dinner, Michel and I headed to the home of Steve & Diana Hudson to work on Michel's photo album.  Steve is the local coordinator for Kidsave, as well as the pastor at our church.  Steve & Diana adopted their daughter through Kidsave after hosting her in 2011.  Diana graciously offered the use of her extensive scrapbooking supplies for any host families who wanted time, space, and materials to assemble a book of memories for their host children.

Michel and I enjoyed assembling the pictures into an album, decorating the photos and adding embellishments.  Since we had a very simple album style (for merely slipping in 4x6 photos, not the full 12x12 style requiring major page creation), I thought we'd have a fairly simple assembly process.  Ha!  I underestimated Michel's desire to create an artistic masterpiece.  She wanted to trim every photo with decorative scissors, add a colored background to every page, and include more stickers than I thought possible!  The Hudsons were tremendously gracious in letting us stay for nearly three hours, and Diana sent us home with a bag of supplies for Michel to finish her album in her last days with us.  Now I understand why Kidsave recommended 30-40 pictures!

While we worked on the album, Michel had time to talk with the Hudson's daughter, Daniela, who came home from Colombia around Christmas time of last year.  They chatted about everything from their lives in Colombia to the personal details Dani has memorized about Justin Bieber.  I was wondering how much Michel would start to put the details together:  Daniela came to Des Moines with Kidsave two years ago and was adopted by her host family...  Would Michel start to wonder about adoption?  (Up until now, she has not asked anything about adoption, although we have discussed adoption in a generic sense.)  In the car on the way home, Michel started asking questions.

"Daniela came to Des Moines for a summer vacation two years ago?"

I kept the answers simple, knowing I could not volunteer anything about the adoption advocacy mission of Kidsave.

"Yes."

"And she was adopted last year?"

"Yes."

Amazingly, Michel left it at that.  I'm guessing the wheels have started to turn in her head, though.  Will she find a forever family here?  Will she be adopted?  Will she someday sit at the kitchen table with her adoptive family, chatting with a future Summer Miracles kid who thinks s/he is here just for the summer vacation of a lifetime?

As we left the Hudsons, we drove past Special Olympics Iowa, where their athlete oath is etched on the side of their building:  "Let me win.  But if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt."  I translated it for Michel, and we were both touched by its message.  It seems to have so many implications in her life.  She may or may not find a forever family while she is here.  She may or may not be able to stay in the loving foster home where she currently lives - she may be transferred to an orphanage.  She may or may not achieve her dreams of college.  There are a lot of unknowns in her life.  But I pray that she is brave in all of her efforts.  And ultimately, I hope that she has a loving family to back her in all that she attempts.

Michel loved the way her book of memories turned out.  She shared it with Mike and the boys when she got home and was so proud of her decorative efforts.  When we got home, she immediately wanted to continue working on it, until we had to cut her off to get ready for bed.  She definitely personalized it with her own style, including lots of stickers and lots of letters - sometimes to spell out captions for the pictures, sometimes just "alphabet soup" style to decorate the picture.  She especially liked the background designs that included bright colors and patterns.

We sent Michel up to get ready for bed, and she called to us a few minutes later.  The Pack & Play portable crib was still set up in our room, left over from the weekend visit with our nephews.  Michel had climbed in the crib and was curled up like a baby, begging us to take her picture.  It made me ponder how much she has missed out on in her short life.  As a baby, did anyone nestle her into a crib at night?  When she was a toddler, did someone take a picture of her beaming in a high chair?  Who was there for her on her first day of school?  I cannot tell you how much I want for her in the future.  I want Michel, and all of her traveling companions, to have loving families to be there for all of the milestones yet to come.

A Sunday Well-Spent

***Disclaimer:  Those of you who know us well are aware that Michel returned to Colombia last Friday, August 2, 2013.  However, I'm obviously still catching up blog posts from the last days of her vacation.  I'll keep dating the posts, but they won't correspond with the date that the post appears.  Sorry for the confusion...but I wanted to properly finish the chronicle of Michel's time with us in Iowa.

July 28, 2013

"A Sunday well-spent brings a week of content."  ~Ancient Proverb, author unknown

We brought Michel to church this morning, and then we met Mike's sister Amy and her family at Jimmy John's for lunch.  Our boys had been petitioning for Jimmy John's for a while, but Michel hasn't been too excited about the various sub sandwich restaurants we've tried (Jimmy John's, Subway).  We drove through Taco John's for her on the way to Jimmy John's...then went through the drive-up again when Mike decided he preferred Taco John's...then swung through a third time when Matthew said he wanted Tex-Mex as well.  (This is not our typical family outingWe finally made it and enjoyed lunch with Amy, Jack, Nathan, and Luke before they headed home to Kansas.  Thanks, Amy & Jack, for coming to stay with us and meet Michel!

We had a mellow afternoon at home, with a little quiet time for all three kids in their rooms and some family games.  We had a quick pizza dinner at Costco and purchased a suitcase for Michel's return trip to Colombia.  I'm quite sure that her new clothes and souvenirs will not fit in the backpack she brought with her on the plane.  It's difficult to believe that she will be heading back to Colombia in less than a week.  We are hopeful that this summer is just a taste of what her future can hold with an adoptive family.

After dinner, we headed to one of the local aquatic centers.  We invited some friends to meet us there, but they were unable to make it.  I was surprised that Michel, even after meeting so many new people this month, was still excited about getting to know new friends tonight.  When we were waiting to hear back from them, she asked a few times, "Will your friends be there?  Can your friends come to the pool with us?  When can we see your friends?"  She has such a great attitude about meeting new people.  She is sometimes shy with adults at first, but jumps right in with the kids.  As the month progresses, I've noticed her trying out more English with the adults she meets.


Michel loved the pool and said it was one of her favorite things we've done this month.  (I wish we had another month to take her swimming lots more!)  She is very comfortable in the water and fearless on the water slides.  Her stamina never faltered as she climbed the steps - over and over - to ride the slides.  She enjoyed the lazy river as well, although it was tricky for her to negotiate the exit against the current!  She played a little water basketball with Mike and the boys at the end.  We were all sorry to see the pool close for the evening, although everyone was getting chilly after sunset!

Overall, we had a relaxing day together as a family.  It's hard to believe it is the last Sunday of Michel's stay.  As the proverb above states, I hope that this was a Sunday well-spent, and that our last week of hosting is a week of content.

All-American Traditions

July 27, 2013

We planned to cram too many things into this morning, so we had to do a little adjusting of the schedule, cutting the Costco list down to only the essentials and skipping Petco and the Farmer's Market.  I love the downtown Des Moines Farmer's Market, and I think Michel would really enjoy it (she loves the downtown scene, and there is so much more to see and do than just buy fruits and vegetables).  However, it's hard to squeeze it in when we have advocacy events every Saturday.  Maybe Michel will be adopted by a family in Des Moines and will be able to check it out next year or the following.

We arrived at Climb Iowa this afternoon, and Michel got fitted for a harness.  As always, she was excited to greet her friends:  not only the kids with whom she traveled, but also friends of ours who have met her during her stay and came to watch the kids rock climb today.

Michel did not seem nervous at all to try rock climbing, and she jumped right in.  She was one of the first kids to start scaling the wall and was halfway up before we knew it!  She followed all of the safety rules and was patient to wait for her turn to climb.  A few of the kids were more hesitant to climb, but by the end of the session, all eight Summer Miracles participants had climbed like old pros.  Thank you, Climb Iowa, for a great day of climbing!

After rock climbing, we came home to meet Mike's sister Amy, her husband Jack, and their two boys.  Three-year-old Nathan and almost-three-month-old Luke were a huge hit with Michel.  She can't resist holding and playing with the little ones!  We enjoyed some down time at home before heading to the mall food court for dinner.  Michel has definitely latched on to Tex-Mex fast food as her restaurant of choice, eating her favorite lettuce-free tacos for dinner.

After dinner, the kids enjoyed some time in the hot tub on an absolutely beautiful night.  Amy and Jack brought along gifts for Michel to open after swimming.  I know she will love using the gel pens in the notebook, since she found an old gel pen of mine that she uses whenever she can!  The pencil case will be perfect to hold the gel pens and carry them home to Colombia.  We will enjoy filling the photo album with pictures from her stay.  Thanks, Amy & Jack, for your thoughtfulness!

We capped off the night with S'Mores, which we have been describing to Michel and promising since she first arrived.  They were definitely a hit...although roasting jumbo-size marshmallows over a gas grill is much slower than roasting regular marshmallows over a fire!  Hopefully Michel's future includes lots of family traditions, such as bonfires and S'Mores and summer camp.

Michel started picking nicknames for all of us this evening.  She said, "Mateo, alias El Mono" (Matthew, alias The Monkey).  She pegged him perfectly - he not only scaled the wall today at Climb Iowa like a monkey, but that's the name we gave him as a toddler, when he was constantly climbing like a little monkey.  She has gotten to know our family well!

When I tucked Michel into bed tonight, she asked to review the schedule for the next week.  She remembered each day's planned activities remarkably well.  When we got to the end of the week, she said, "Friday.  The worst day."  We fully anticipate that it will be our "worst day" as well, filled with tears as we say good-bye to a sweet little girl.  We pray that this is not just the end of a summer vacation, but the beginning of her journey to a family that will love her and care for her forever.

Pockets of Fun

July 26, 2013

Today was a busy day at home, as opposed to all of our busy days running elsewhere!  The kids slept in after playing hard with friends until bedtime last night.  We spent lots of time getting ready for a "pocket party" this evening, where a potential adoptive family has the opportunity to meet with a few kids in a more personal, informal setting.

Michel and I played a couple of games this morning to break up the party preparations.  We played Blink, which is great for fast-paced fun.  I taught her how to play Uno (a classic, although we were using the slightly abbreviated Burger King kids' meal version) and 7-Ate-9.  7-Ate-9 is a math game, and her basic arithmetic skills seem really solid.  It is just as fast-paced as Blink, and she seems to thrive on the excitement.  I beat her in the first two games (only by one card in Game Two!), but she came back to beat me in the final game.  She catches on so quickly to new games!  We also played Set, but I think it was too soon after waking up, because I beat her much more easily than usual.

She is very patient in looking for matches among the cards, not jumping to add additional cards until she is really sure that there are no matches.  I also noticed that she is using more unprompted English during the games, calling out "Set!" when she sees a match and saying, "Ready, Go!" at the start of a game.

Michel was incredibly helpful while cleaning for tonight.  I told the kids (our two boys, Michel, and a neighbor who was lucky enough to be here during clean-up time) that I needed half an hour of help from them.  Michel jumped right in without complaint, identifying things that needed cleaning without waiting to be assigned a task.  When the thirty minute time frame was up, she continued to clean, even after I encouraged her to take a break.  I didn't want her to feel like we were taking advantage of her or expecting her to work more than the rest of the kids, but she seemed to take joy in serving alongside us.  She often went above and beyond what I expected of her.  For example, she asked for something to clean the family room table, and I gave her glass cleaner.  I looked up a few minutes later to see a clean coffee table and end tables, and she moved on to do the family room and living room windows as well!  When I removed dog hair from the throw pillows, she watched carefully and soon offered to take over.  She did not only the throw pillows, but also the family room couch and chairs.  Her attitude was cheerful throughout the process - never a complaint.

Michel continues to show us her love for music, and she definitely has an affinity for popular American music.  She said that when her foster family cleans for guests, they turn the music up loud while they get ready together.  She kept the music up as loud as we would let her while we were cleaning.  However, when the boys started to lose focus and become less helpful, she told them she would turn off the music if they quit cleaning.  She followed through immediately when they started to play, switching off the radio and leaving it off until she went upstairs to shower.  Yay her for following through on consequences better than many parents!

We see so many examples of compassion from Michel, especially if someone is upset.  At one point, one of our boys (who shall remain nameless) became frustrated with the cleaning routine.  The boys tried to bail early on our thirty-minute cleaning session, so I imposed a five-minute "fine" on them.  One of the kids complained vociferously and cried while he finished his time.  Michel came alongside him, asked what's wrong, and rubbed his back to try to calm him.  When he became upset again a few minutes later (since the timer was moving s-o-o-o-o slowly and he wanted to be DONE and play outside), she came to him again.  Her usual tactics didn't seem to work, so she tried tickling him.  She tickled relentlessly until his tears turned to hysterical laughter.  I admit - I don't think I've ever tried this tactic as a parent, but it was surprisingly effective.  She is an awesome mood-changer!

When I finally talked Michel into taking a break from cleaning, she was able to entertain herself easily without interrupting Mike and I (since we were still cleaning), but still staying close and connected to us.  She found a box of art supplies and set to work drawing a picture for Mike and I.  We appreciated her thoughtful generosity in the midst of a busy work day!

Michel was very cognizant of time throughout the afternoon.  Before the kids arrived, we had been told that the visiting kids often had a more "relaxed" sense of time than our American attempts at punctuality.  (I say "attempts" because...well, anyone who knows me knows that our family is not notoriously punctual.  But we still understand the importance of arriving on time!)  I was impressed that Michel asked, mid-afternoon, when everyone would be arriving, when we would have to leave to pick up pizza, and what time she should shower and change clothes.  I suggested starting her prep time at 5:00, in order to be ready to go to Domino's with Mike at 5:30 and be home by 6:00.  She went upstairs right around 5:00.  She got ready and came out of her room at 5:29, announcing, "I'm just on time!"

The pocket party was so much fun for everyone.  Michel's traveling companions, Kevin Daniel and Maria Lucelly, joined us with their host families.  A lovely family from California was here with their fourteen-year-old son.  Our boys adored their son and spent the evening challenging him on the basketball court, climbing on him, and joining him at the piano.  (No, my boys don't play, they pounded the keys alongside our visitor, who was quite accomplished on the ivories!)  The family joined the Kidsave kids and their chaperone for energetic games of Phase 10, Uno, and 7-Ate-9.  If you heard lots of laughter and cheering tonight, it was probably coming from our family room!

Tomorrow is our final weekend advocacy event, rock-climbing at Climb Iowa.  We are excited to see how Michel and her friends decide to tackle the rock wall!  Afterward, we look forward to welcoming Mike's sister, her husband, and their two sons to meet Michel and spend the weekend with us.  Michel loves babies and toddlers, so we expect her to have lots of fun with three-year-old Nathan and almost-three-month-old baby Luke.

Today marks the start of our final week of hosting Michel.  Keep watching the blog for as many adventures as we can cram into seven days.  We continue to pray that this "summer vacation" has been effective to connect Michel with a forever family.

Lots of Appointments...and Some Fun for Good Measure

July 25, 2013

We started the day off earlier than usual, with an appointment downtown for one of the other kids traveling with Michel, since I was asked to interpret for the appointment with a specialist at Blank Children's Hospital.  We left the house with a rather large entourage:  me, my two boys, Michel, chaperone Monica (who had to be at the appointment to give consent as legal guardian), and Maria.  After navigating parking garages and multiple elevators and hospital complexes, we paraded into a small exam room already populated by one doctor, one nurse, one Physician's Assistant student, one nursing student, one host mother, and one probably overwhelmed Colombian child.  I had brought books and games to keep my crew of four kids entertained, but I was a little nervous about how well everyone would behave in such close quarters (and how effectively I could interpret under such circumstances).

Enter the Blank Child Life Specialists to save the day!  The nurse took one look at our motley crew and said, "Let me call Child Life."  I was familiar with the Child Life program from friends who have had kids hospitalized or undergoing cancer treatment at Blank, but I had no idea they could come to the rescue during routine appointments as well.  Almost immediately, not one but two Child Life Specialists knocked on the door - one English-speaker and one Spanish-speaker, both equipped with games, books, and coloring pages.  They brought the kids out to the waiting room, where everyone was quiet, entertained, and apparently content until it was time to leave over an hour later.  I can't speak highly enough of the Child Life program.  I knew they did amazing work, but they came through for us today in ways I certainly did not expect.  With kindness and a healthy dose of fun, they served kids who were not even related to the patient - a patient who was there for an "off the record" free consultation about a chronic health issue.  Child Life, you are awesome!



I figured the four kids had not been challenged enough by one long appointment, so I took them to the chiropractor with me on the way home from the hospital downtown.  (Okay, so I'm not that crazy, but it's been hard to get to the chiropractor this month, it was on the way home from the hospital, and I hadn't yet used any of the entertainment supplies I brought for the first appointment.)  The wait was much longer than usual at the chiropractor, but the kids did great for yet another long waiting room stint.  My boys read, Michel challenged Monica to a game of Phase 10, and Maria read and played a solitaire version of Spot It!  And a big thanks to Dr. Kasperbauer and his staff for letting us take over your waiting room!

My favorite comment of the day came from another chiropractic patient who asked if "my girls" (Maria and Michel) attended a bilingual immersion school because their Spanish was so good.  As tempting as it was to say, "Yes, I've been teaching them Spanish since infancy, and they attend a bilingual school," I instead seized the opportunity to share with her about Kidsave.  Sometimes it's difficult to talk openly about the program (since we can't mention adoption in front of the kids), but I try to take advantage of every possible chance to at least share the Kidsave website address so they can learn more.

On the way home from the chiropractor, we dropped off Monica and Michel at another host family's home, where Monica will stay until Saturday, and then we headed home for lunch.  Michel is definitely on an egg kick.  (After the first week or so, her diet had started to tilt heavily in favor of fruit - just fruit - at every meal.  Monica reprimanded her while she was staying with us - not harshly, but firmly - to eat a balanced diet and include more protein to avoid dizziness or nausea, which hit her one day last week.  She seems to be taking the counsel to heart and is eating eggs at almost every meal.)  Today, she made fried eggs, asking for assistance in flipping them over without breaking the yolks.  (I flipped the first one well.  The second one broke.  Eh, fifty-fifty is better than nothing, right?)

This afternoon, we met some friends from our old church at the neighborhood park.  They have adopted twice (one boy from Ukraine and two sisters from Liberia) and have three biological children.  We have many friends and acquaintances who have adopted; sometimes I wonder if Michel thinks it unusual that we have gotten together with so many adoptive families during her stay.  I have not scheduled this intentionally, but it's just how the playdate schedule has worked out.  I am curious if Michel thinks these might be potential families for her, or if she is curious about all these adoptive families in our community.  She has not commented on this at all, but I'd love to know what is running through her head!  If nothing else, I hope that it gives her a glimpse of what a potential adoptive family looks like, and that it gives her hope that someone will take her into their home and love her forever as well.

Michel got along well with all of the kids at the park, climbing on the playground and learning new games.  The kids played kickball and tried to organize Capture the Flag, but I don't think they ever determined how to split into teams before it was time to leave.  Michel does great at watching the other kids and following their example.  For more detailed instructions, such as the rules of Capture the Flag, she seeks me to interpret, but mostly she manages the language differences with other kids very well on her own.  Michel also loved our friend's newest addition to the family, their six-month-old daughter.  I'm sure she would love to have babies around in her new adoptive home!

My friend Megan came over for dinner with her boys this evening.  We taught Michel how to play the card game Blink - which is like the antithesis to Phase 10 when it comes to length of play.  Michel seemed to thrive on the fast pace and challenged Mike, then Megan, to several games.  It's clear that she loves to win - often celebrating with a cheer and hands in the air - but she is a great sport when she doesn't win as well.  Just don't try to cheat - she always plays fair and will call you out if she thinks you are trying to pull a fast one!

Need a fast card game for all ages?
Blink can be played in just a few minutes!
Fast, furious fun!

After dinner, the five kids ventured outside with Mike, setting up camp chairs and blankets to look at the stars.  Andrew and Michel passed the phone back and forth, using Google Translate to communicate.  Through the phone, Andrew told her, "Soon the stars will come out."  He also asked, "Can you see stars in Colombia?" and "If you look out your window can you see stars?"  She said that she cannot see them from home, but she can see them from outside when they leave the house.  She has previously said that she and the other foster kids rarely leave the house (other than to go to school) because of safety risks.  I hope that she will one day live in a home where she can safely lie on the grass on a summer night and gaze at the stars.  Such summertime pleasures that we take for granted.

By bedtime, the busy day caught up with all three of the kids.  Mike read to them together .  All three fell asleep in our bed, arms around each other, before he could even finish the first story.  We carried them all to their own beds so they can sleep soundly and be rested for another busy day tomorrow!

Forever Families for Michel's Friends

July 24, 2013

Michel's traveling companion, Maria Manuela, has been at our home for a few days this week while her host family is at work.  Although the focus of this blog is advocacy to find Michel Dayana a forever family, I wanted to share with you some of the great qualities about Maria Manuela.  I have enjoyed getting to know her this week and thought you might enjoy learning about her as well.

• Maria is very helpful, especially in the kitchen.  Whenever I start to cook, she is at my side, asking, "Can I help you?"
• Maria is very compassionate and concerned about how others are feeling.  Throughout the day, she will ask the other kids, "Are you okay?" especially if she senses they might be hurt or upset. Once, when I was teary after an especially moving sermon at church, she approached me and asked, "Are you crying?" and immediately gave me a hug.  
• Maria willingly engages in a variety of activities.  She plays board games and pays attention to the rules (and doesn't get upset if she doesn't win), she rides bikes and scooters, she plays basketball, she paints, she helps in the kitchen, she plays with toys...and she loves hide and seek!  
• Maria has a great attitude about trying new foods.  With each new food at our house, she would say, in English, that she liked it "so-so."  However, she would still have a full serving...and then ask for seconds!  She ate a variety of foods while visiting our home:  chicken sandwiches, cereal, black bean salad, several different kinds of fruit, and the healthy cereal that my husband refers to as "bird seed."
• Maria is quick to laugh.  I don't think I've ever laughed so much in an eye appointment as I did with Maria.  Several things were new or surprising to Maria such as the glaucoma test that sends a puff of air toward the eye, or the camera that photographs the back of the eye.  When startled by something unexpected, her first response is to laugh.  
• Maria is a fast and fearless bike rider!  She hopped on Andrew's bike and took off the first morning she was here.  Before I knew it, she had ridden all the way around the block.  She's not fabulous at braking, though, so make sure to keep this sweet girl in a bike helmet!
• Maria is very helpful with younger children.  At the mall, she willingly carried Matthew or let him ride piggyback.  (Matthew is six.  He definitely does not need to be carried.  But he was thrilled with the extra attention!)  
• Maria is quick to apologize, even if she didn't do anything major wrong.  Her first response after dropping something or bumping into someone is always, in English, "I'm sorry."  
• Maria is very easy to correct.  If you set clear limits with her, she respects them.  At our house, if she unknowingly broke a rule, I usually only had to tell her once, and she would follow that rule from that moment on.  
• Even though I spoke primarily Spanish with Maria, she works hard at using English as much as possible.  She almost always answers with English words such as "please" and "thank you."  She attempts to answer in English first, then resorts to Spanish if she doesn't know how to express herself.  

Do you know someone who could provide a loving, stable, consistent home for Maria?  If you would like to learn more, please contact steveh - at - kidsave - dot - org.  Yes, the (@) and (.) are written out to keep the spammers and trolls at bay.

Movies & Errands

July 24, 2013

Maria arrived early this morning, before Michel and the boys woke up.  I kept her from sneaking upstairs to awaken her playmates today, so she dozed on the couch and then sat on the stairs until they came down, one by one.

We had planned on seeing Oceans at the local movie theater this morning, but a behavioral meltdown by a certain biological child of mine (who shall remain nameless) prevented us from going.  I told Monica, the chaperone, that I didn't feel like it was fair to punish Michel and Maria (and my other child) for one child's errors, and I didn't want to break my word or disappoint them.  However, I also felt like his mistakes were significant enough (and hurtful enough to the other kids) that I couldn't reward him with a trip to the movie theater.  Monica seconded my opinion that we should stay home and assured me that the girls would understand.

The good news is that we have Oceans at home on DVD, so I sent the offending child to his room and promised an at-home movie experience for the remaining three kids.  We popped popcorn (the kids loved the air popper!) and had movie candy and sprawled in the family room to enjoy a home-viewing experience.  Much to my relief, both girls showed that they were adaptable to the last-minute change in plans.  Added bonus:  I could do Spanish subtitles!  Everyone who watched the movie seemed to enjoy it, although the documentary-style movie dragged on a tad long for Maria and Michel.  Maria fell asleep for the last part, but Michel stayed focused until the end.  I was impressed by her knowledge of unusual sea creatures - she was often able to name animals and recite facts about them before the subtitles had a chance to appear.

After the movie, we had errands to run.  We stopped at the Nike outlet first, where Monica needed to exchange some items she bought earlier in her stay.  All of the kids did really well, browsing, trying on shoes, and posing for pictures.  Next, we crossed the parking lot to Costco.  All things considered, the Costco trip went well, but I confess:  it was exhausting for me to keep track of four kids; explain the contents of every sample to Monica, Maria, and Michel; manage conversations among seven of us in two languages; keep the kids in the same aisle; and still remember the items on my list!  It took way longer than I had anticipated, skewing our lunch and afternoon schedule, but everyone rolled with the changes.

We bought gas at Costco before heading home.  I was surprised when Maria asked if they should get out of the car while I filled the tank.  Monica clarified that in Colombia, vehicles are either powered by gasoline or by natural gas.  Because of the risk of explosion (albeit rare), passengers do not remain in the car while fueling with natural gas.  I was impressed that Maria was conscientious enough to ask and be prepared to leave the van if necessary.  I was also grateful that we did not have to unload four tired, hungry kids at the gas station.

When we finally made it home from our errands, Maria, Michel, and Monica cooked lunch together.  They made a variation upon yesterday's eggs, a scrambled egg-style meal.  (The boys opted for their old standby sandwiches.)  Monica was in charge of the super-finely diced tomatoes.  I still think the blender would be easier and have the same effect...although it does make more dishes to clean up.  The girls and their chaperone seemed to really enjoy spending time in the kitchen together.

Can't see many large chunks of vegetables here!

After lunch, the kids finally got in the long-promised hot tub.  Michel gave Matthew lots of piggybacks in the water, and the four kids played with Michel's diving rings and "splash balls."  The boys tired of swimming more quickly than usual, but Maria and Michel stayed in for a while.  Maria apparently loves, loves, loves the water and is very comfortable going under and splashing around.  Michel seemed to enjoy sharing the hot tub with one of her traveling companions.

The kids all played out front after swimming while waiting for Maria's host mother to pick her up after work.  Maria bicycled until she had to leave, but Michel chose to ride the scooter and play basketball and soccer, rather than attempt the bike while Maria was still here.  She did practice riding with Mike later in the evening, without the pressure of an audience.  Her resilience and perseverance - even after a rather traumatic fall last night - continue to amaze me.

Focus and Resilience

July 23, 2013

Today we had Maria Manuela with us again while her host parents worked.  Maria arrived early and was too excited to wait for the kids to wake up, so she slipped upstairs to awaken Michel.  Michel was a very good sport and not nearly as irritable as I probably would have been at her age.  Michel and Maria had a great time cooking breakfast together, preparing a traditional Colombian egg dish.  I learned that Colombian cooking wins the prize for the most finely chopped vegetables.  (I used to give this honor to my mother-in-law, who is soooo much more patient than I am at dicing peppers and other veggies.)  Monica and the girls said that many egg dishes and other recipes require tomatoes, peppers, and onions to be finely minced - as in, down to about one millimeter.  Alternatively, you can also throw the ingredients in the blender.  Monica said that many Colombians don't like to find chunks of individual ingredients in their food, so they mince it to the point that it cannot be identified within a dish.  I should probably do more of this, to hide ingredients that Mike and the boys find objectionable!

We spent the afternoon at the Science Center of Iowa.  All four of the kids - and the chaperone - enjoyed exploring motion, hydroelectricity, engineering, and other fields of science with fun, interactive activities.  The Science Center has been a long-standing favorite of our family, and it lived up to its reputation with our visitors today as well.

Michel again demonstrated her long attention span and ability to focus on a task until she brings it to completion.  She spent quite a bit of time building dams to alter water flow, even as the other kids moved on to other areas.  Michel interacted with all of us throughout the day, but she also seemed to appreciate having some time to explore and build and learn on her own.  She works well independently and took time to read the informational signs to learn about the exhibits.

Feedback on the egg drop.
Michel needs a family who will provide this kind of encouragement!

After the Science Center, we dropped Monica off at another host family's house for an appointment, then dropped Maria off with her host family.  We headed home, where Michel wanted to try riding a bike.  At the very beginning of her stay, she made it very clear that she would try almost anything except riding bikes.  She didn't like riding bikes because she often fell off, and she did not want to try again.  But tonight, she brought Andrew's bike to Mike and asked for help riding.  She did great!  Mike ran alongside, just as he did when the boys were learning to ride.  A couple of weeks ago (when she made one other brief attempt at bike riding), she didn't seem to have the balancing ability to ride a bicycle.  But tonight, with help, she mastered balancing and pedaling.  Now we just have to work on turning and stopping!

Michel had her first real scare tonight since arriving at our home.  While practicing on the bike, with Mike at her side, she veered off the sidewalk and tipped over in the grass.  The lower part of her leg became trapped between the pedal and the frame of the bike.  Ultimately, no harm was done, but because of the way her leg was pinned, she was afraid her leg had been severely hurt or broken...or even cut off.  She screamed and cried, so scared despite Monica's and my attempts to soothe her.  Mike was able to free her leg pretty quickly, without a single scratch or bruise, but I felt terrible that she was so frightened.  So much for bike riding, I assumed.  Wrong!  She was very shaken, but after about twenty minutes of playing soccer and other games with the boys, she came up to Mike, asking in English, "Bicycle?  Bicycle?  Please, bicycle?"  Bless her heart - she jumped right back on that bike and was riding as if nothing had happened.  I still don't think biking is her favorite activity, but I was so very proud of her for giving it another shot and not letting her fears win out.

Grace.  Focus.  Resilience.  Character qualities Michel demonstrated today that will make her a blessing to an adoptive family.